Oh man. It feels like winter already.
It seems like common sense, right? You want to be able to talk with foreigners in English, so you should take man to man lessons, right?
That’s not necessarily the case.
For the first four years that I studied Japanese, I took man to man lessons every week, two hours at a time, with a native speaker who was a pretty good teacher.
But what happened when I tried to talk to a Japanese person outside of my lessons?
I couldn’t speak at all, even though I was taking man to man lessons for four years!
This is not a unique situation. I’ve had a lot of students come to me and say, “Arthur I took man to man lessons, but I can’t speak. Why?”
Talking to someone in a man to man lesson and real life may seem similar, but they’re actually really different. I actually made a table to show you how different they are.
Let’s look at the difference between man to man lessons and real life conversations.
In man to man lessons, your partner is always your teacher, but in real life, it can be many different people, many different kinds of people.
In man to man lessons, the reason the other person has to talk to you is simple; they make money. They’re paid to talk to you. In real life conversation, there’s no reason, originally, to talk with you.
In man to man lessons, the person leading the conversation is always the teacher; In real life conversation, the person leading the conversation, most of the time, is you.
In man to man lessons, the person who starts the conversation is the teacher; In real life conversation, it’s you.
In man to man lessons, the person who decides the topic is the teacher; In real life conversation, it’s you.
In man to man lessons, the environment of the conversation is very quiet, very relaxed, very easy to concentrate, but in real life conversation, it can be any environment: sometimes very loud and very confusing
In man to man lessons, the other person talks in a simple, slow, easy-to-understand way, but in real life conversation they speak in native level speed, and it can be difficult to hear.
In man to man lessons, the timing of talking, when to start and when to end, is already decided either by the lesson time or the teacher; In real life conversation, you have to decide everything yourself.
If we compare it to sports, talking to a foreigner in a real situation is like playing a game, but talking to a native speaker in a man to man lesson is just practice.
Practice is important for learning basic skills, but to really play, you need to play a game.
The problem is most people are satisfied with their man to man lessons. They keep on practicing practicing practicing, but never actually try to get in the game and talk to someone in real life.
They don’t learn things like strategies on how to start conversations, how to lead the conversation, and how to find opportunities to connect with people.
Now, on to point two. I don’t mean that no one should ever take man to man lessons ever. They’re very important for learning specific skills.
But just like in sports, you need to practice that skill and then use it in the game.
You need to use what you learn in a man to man lesson in real life. That’s the only way you’re gonna be able to speak.
So if man to man lessons are not enough, how are you gonna be able to go out and talk to people in the real world?
I’m sorry, but there’s only one way.
Just like in sports, just like riding a bike, you have to go out and actually try it.
I’ve shared a lot of stuff on my youtube channel, my blog, and my podcasts on how to actually talk to people in real life.
But, I’ve also created a special program that will help you do exactly that.
In this program, we get into concrete, specific ways for you to actually do that, and also deal with the mental barriers and blocks you have before actually talking with foreigners.
Sound interesting? Well, you can get the details and sign up by clicking the link up here. Or over here? Ah, I always do this! It’s over here, it’s over here, I hope.
Or you can click the link in the description box below.
Until next time enjoy your English adventures. 一緒に世界と繋がりましょう！
This is a band I got from a YouTube event. It’s cool, right? Nice, red color